S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
