I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
