So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
