i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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