Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
