; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
