they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
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I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
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Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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