I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ambien. No doubt about it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
