I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
