dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
