the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you win again, gameday.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
