how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
