There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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