I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
