Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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