I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize