I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
