My hair reeks of homosexuality.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
