I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Still dying that you shit outside
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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