No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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