My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Less talking, more tequila
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have fence marks all over my body
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
