i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
