He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
