We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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