your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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