the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Come on in and take your pants off
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