How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
