Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
