you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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