it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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