I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
