I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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