We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
