Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
