Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
