I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize