Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
