4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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