im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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