How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
