There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
