Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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