Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
