Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
