I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"