hell yes lets make some ravioli
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You ate ashes out of my bong
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize