honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
