Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
