I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
