Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize