he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
