My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
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MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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