You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
