if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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