Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
