We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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