I molested 6 butterflies tonight
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
