I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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