Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
