but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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