Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
