if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
