New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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