this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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