she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
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Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
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Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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